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In The Rear View Mirror

November 28, 2016

Or…. objects may be closer than they appear.

I read several years back that if you are searching for answers or for direction all you need do is cast your thoughts back to what turned your crank as a kid.  Many of us have buried those memories and inclinations so deep that if at say 50, we are asked what obsessions we had as a 9 year old, it would take some thought to come up with an answer.  It isn’t until you are left as the last ‘man’ standing and time is pretty much your own, that obsessions of the past begin to bubble and rise to the surface.

I am beginning to believe that the anxieties that come with one’s place in time, for those of us that have said anxieties, may be intensified or accelerated from the burying of old joys.  If you are one where contentment has eluded you for most of your life, chances are you need to be looking in the rear view mirror.

A stubborn realization of an old joy has crossed my mind.  I was surprised when memories began to bubble and rise.  Horses.  That’s right, horses.  Casting for my first memories of drawing and painting yielded memories of my obsession with drawing horses and my first painting ever which was a paint-by-number of a horse’s head.  From that point the memories came flooding back.

When my sister and I were young we spent many hours in horse pursuit.  For a non ranch family living in the city that proved to be a bit challenging.  We’d ride out into the prairie on gravel roads to beg a ride.  There was a small riding stable connected to a theme park where if we fed and watered the horses the old guy tending would let us ride for free.  That memory was well hidden.  A memory closer to the surface was time spent at the Mounted Police stables of the Ride.  The training stables were just out of town.  We would ride out there to see those black beauties.  There was an old Irish guy who used to let us into the stables for visits.  We had to be quiet.  He would let us climb up on a wooden step stool to give the horses a brush down.  Not sure that my mom ever knew that we did such a thing 🙂

I kept this horse obsession well into high school but eventually gave up a dream that I had for love and my memories of all things horses appeared to have vanished entirely.  Until now….

Here is my first attempt at getting my horse mojo back 🙂

3 Comments leave one →
  1. April permalink
    November 28, 2016 10:55 pm

    Well, looks like IT’S BACK! ❤

    • November 29, 2016 12:58 am

      Ha, thanks April. Well, it’s a start at any rate. Thanks for reading!!

      • April permalink
        November 29, 2016 4:53 pm

        You’re welcome. I read all of them. xo

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