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Good Thing Time Isn’t Linear

October 28, 2015

I have noticed that visitors to my Daily Paintworks Gallery are also visiting my blog site.  BLOG SITE I thought!!!  OMG!!  I have finally found a moment to check in only to realize that I have not written a blog since May 26th.  Not that I haven’t had an inordinate amount to say, it just hasn’t been on my radar to write about it.  This along with the fact that my sister told me to stop writing about myself.  “Who wants to hear what you are thinking?”,  she asked.  I have to say that this set me back somewhat….threw me into a stall, stamped on my shadow…made me question, at length, why I write my blog.   I have decided this, BECAUSE I MUST.

Throughout my life when things are in a stall, virtually or rather seemingly going no where, I tend to become frustrated and impatient with myself.  My first clue that this state is upon me is my lack of direction with my painting.  A tendency toward the familiar rears its ugly head and my paintings become mundane… least in my mind.  When I close my eyes and tell myself that I am not going to paint one more stupid painting, I am always standing on the same spot….the edge of a cliff.  At first I panic because I know some big change is about to occur.  I have trouble breathing properly which is quite serious for an ex yoga teacher.  My sleeping pattern is fitful, I eat too much and basically become a hermit.  I should know by now that the sooner I just take the leap, the better for myself and everyone around me.

These ‘states’ as I now refer to them are coming more and more frequently.  I had an episode and then I listed my beautiful house, another and then I moved out and bought a  new home in a place where in any previous life, I would never have considered moving to and here I am again.  Not knowing exactly what an ‘episode’ will bring has its drawbacks but being the luckiest person in the world, I know the shift will be memorable.  I am fortunate to have friends that support me through these troubling times….personal coaches really.   They help me see my way.

So, I am on the edge of the cliff.  A particularly high cliff I might add.  Can’t see a single thing in front of me but I have decided to jump….  I feel like this has something to do with a new direction in my creative endeavours but it is only a feeling.  Only non linear time will tell 🙂



One Comment leave one →
  1. Beckie Saar Leone permalink
    October 28, 2015 9:39 am

    I am so glad you’re back. Great post today. You could have been writing about my life, I know just how you feel! Please keep posting.

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